Dear Diary...
Friday, May 05, 2006
Oki, I'm back once again. I had a wonderful birthday celebration this year. Because i don't like celebrating my birthday because every year there's surely something bad happening. However this year 2006, i guess was my happiest year or i should say luckiest year, cause i had 5 birthday cakes celebrating with 5 different group of people. They are my classmates, brothers, family, my bar working friends and lastly my canoing club friends. Every group was fun to be with, my classmates bought me a t-shirt which i love it alot cause there was our class chalet photo printed on it, learn to ride joe's bike which i add a few scratches on it =x (sorry joe), went to have nice dinner with my family, drunk my first ever WATERFALL, and went singing with my canoing friends! Thanks everyone for everything..!!
Now this year i got a present from xiao zhu too.! surprise surprise right. thanks for the card and present Xiao Zhu. i like them alot. = ) anyway i really don't what i can do to help you now already cause everything lies within yourself and only you yourself can help yourself. i can only be there to protect and be there for you if you need me. i'm also counting the days for you to nob your head saying 'yes i would like to give it a try' like what u said to me when we were 15. seeing you restless as each day pass, i can totally understand what you are going through. take your time and i'll wait patiently for you.
I've been seeing you more oftern than i can imagine and i really enjoys my time with you. I'll treasure all the time and memories we had for this pass few weeks. i wouldn't forget them because if one day you leave me again i have them to accompany me. = )
I went to see doctor on tuesdays because there are 3 lumps on the back of my head. Well after all the blood test and all, the doctor decided to refer me to NUH for further check ups. He said my blood test was fine and i healthy, and he thinks the the lumps were limps notes and he said depending what the speacialist say, if needed, i have to go for a small operation. Well i guess i have to wait for the appointment made with the doctor, hope it's not cancer. haha. anyway i think is limp notes. hehehe..
silly you;4:23 PM
Dear Diary...
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Today i went out with you again. This time Alex and Nat came along. Today was my first day of school. I end class about 3 and Alex came to meet us. Then we went to Far East waste our time cause i was waiting for Xiao Zhu's call. At about 6, xiao zhu was caught in a heavy rain so i ran to find her. I don't know why i felt so happy to see her again. Then we went to Far East to fix her favourite belt which she broke in Australia.
After all the hunting for shops, we finally found the shop that could fix the belt. After that we went to ask around the money changer in Far East the exchange rate for riggat dollar. Then we went to NYDC for our dinner but came to realise we were not comfortable with the environment we had due to the cause of the rain. Xiao Zhu suggested we go Billy Bombers and we really went in the end. We had a good time eating there, chat alot with laughter and the food was not too bad. Alex went to buy his Frane converse shoe and Nat though of buying the Germany bag but end up didn't buy. I send xiao zhu home and i don't know why today i felt so different. Are you going to leave me soon again? You don't need me anymore is it? Anyway i want to say is that even if you decided that we both wouldn't get together, i'll still love you with all my heart. Hope you had a good day today. When can i stop you from crying????
silly you;1:21 AM
Dear Diary...
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Happy 19th Birthday xiao zhu..! May all yours wishes come true i hope..! = ) Keep praying and God will bless you. 1 year older means 1 year prettier, smarter and stronger.!
Yesterday went east coast with you to celebrate your birthday. Even though i wasn't the one you really wish to celebrate with but i hope i did at least cheer you up. I promise you next year your birthday such got alot people celebrate with you de oki. stay strong and cheerful like the Xiao Zhu i always love...! Will you should know what i told you last night, all came from my heart and i really mean what i said. I have all the time in the world to wait for your return and like you say let nature take its course. i will.. i'm not regretting what i'm doing. thanks for making so happy just to be there for you. 2006 is really full of surprises..! Hope you recover faster or hope he faster come back to you which you wanted so badly. I may say all this but all i want is to see you happy and that's the only i show my love to you.!
silly you;11:18 PM
Dear Diary...
Happy 19th Birthday xiao zhu..! May all yours wishes come true i hope..! = ) Keep praying and God will bless you. 1 year older means 1 year prettier, smarter and stronger.!
Yesterday went east coast with you to celebrate your birthday. Even though i wasn't the one you really wish to celebrate with but i hope i did at least cheer you up. I promise you next year your birthday such got alot people celebrate with you de oki. stay strong and cheerful like the Xiao Zhu i always love...! Will you should know what i told you last night, all came from my heart and i really mean what i said. I have all the time in the world to wait for your return and like you say let nature take its course. i will.. i'm not regretting what i'm doing. thanks for making so happy just to be there for you. 2006 is really full of surprises..! Hope you recover faster or hope he faster come back to you which you wanted so badly. I may say all this but all i want is to see you happy and that's the only i show my love to you.!
silly you;11:18 PM
Dear Diary...
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Tomorrow is your birthday xiao zhu. i don't know other than him what else can i do to make you happy. Last night i went to pass you your present and i thought i could just make you happy, but it always end up you crying. Do you know everytime you cry for him, telling me about all the good times you shared with him and how sweet and how badly you want him back, in my heart i shouted COME BACK to me and i will never let you get hurt ever again. But i didn't cause i know all you think was him. I'm so jealous of him even though i don't even know him. You told me you tried very hard to remember everything he did for you, asking to look at his photos because you felt happy and proud showing people and listening to him singing in end up you crying. I was crying in my heart. maybe i was too used to the pain inside. i'm tired of crying also ba i guess. Well maybe that's the way i love you ba. Can only be there for you when you need me. That is the best i can do ba. I've already received my present from you finally after 2 years and that is giving me your 1 week to me. I've never been so happy to see you and messaging you after 2 long years. Even though everytime my heart goes numb but you will never understand the feeling of wanting to meet you and you agree. You are my one and only till now. You really make me want to surrender my soul to you only. = )
silly you;7:32 AM
Dear Diary...
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
To those people whom i talked to and knew what i'm going to do for myself. i think she gave me a big hint and i remembered what she said in the past. We can never be together ever again. maybe i never accept this truth because the truth always hurts. i tried to change but she was just too determine. She is so silly but i'm not that smart either. She said she hope to go back to his side as soon as possible. i guess i can't change that fact. And like i say, the way i love you was to see u happy and be there for you whenever you need someone. Be your friend is better because at least i still get to talk to you and know what is happening around you. But if i confessed my feelings out to you like i always did, i don't think it will work. And i don't wanna hear those answer that will come out from you also. Having you by my side these few days, it was one of my happiest moment in my life after 2 years without you. Well i pray every night just hope that GOD will protect you and always making you happy and cheerful always.!
silly you;1:11 AM
Dear Diary...
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Oh my GOD..! it's been so long since i last blog. ok, let's make it a long one then.
After MR500, i was busy with work, training and camps. Work was like usual, slacking boring and my friends and I now find it hard to carry on working there. Both the supervisors there never agrees with one another, back stabbing one another behind back in front of us. What can we say? just listen and act as if you were on thier side. But for me, i'm of coz on uncle ben's side. Simply because he can work better. Siti has already quit the job cause she's the one whom was close to both the supervisor. Karen, Kai Li , Lester, Hoe, Wei Jin and me, all of us are going to quit soon too. Don't know what will happen to beacon. = (
Oki then i went for my training camp, it was cool though. first day we did like normal wednesday training then all of us went to play catching at block 52 & 53. One of my friends scare me till i really jump off from the ground. haha. To think about it, it was really funny. After all the running up and down of stairs, we fianlly end the game. I became the catcher after all and it was fun being one. Went shower and I can see both polo and sprinting side are getting along better than before. Good sign! = ) Went to room 02-02 to put our things and it's the place where we all sleep together. All of us were hungry and all decided to call for Mac, bad choice but we have no choice. haha. It took them 1hour later to delivery. So we used 1hour time wisely, we played the poker game i learned during my class chalet. hehe. it was fun seeing people being forgettful and some over confidents. hahaha. Then food finally arrived and everyone was like hungry ghosts. I tried to finish my food fast so i could sleep early because we have to wake up at 630 the next day and the food arrived at 2. haha. Then i woke up at ^ plus to gether ready for the run, NACC ran all the way to BTH den wen mac for our breakfast. After that we all head back to school for our water game.! We break camp in the afternoon and everyone was tired.
OKi, that's all for training camp. Now my all time favourite, Sport Camp. i had great fun in this year SC as a helper. this year freshies was great and all of us enjoyed their enthusiasm. every group was fun but there's this one group which was my favourite group this year. It's call kaia. haha. And they won the BEST GROUP award. haha. They were so like my Hydrus last year. kekeke. Self praise. Woke up early everyday to prepare station games and this year the F&B did a great job. the food was great jus that there were less vegetable. Was the last few to sleep because we were busy stealing flats. haha. Being a helper was great fun, vause we get to disturb like almost everyone and the station games everyone had to listen to us. haha. Use water gun to shoot people who were blind folded, make people to crawl and do thing they didn't know when they were still blind folded. haha. Too bad this year there's no night walk to scare the freshies and finally i get to know what was inside the pool of wonders. We add our own ingredients inside it but i will not say anything. haha.
Well i guess enough of this post liao. i shall continue some other time.. keke...
silly you;7:56 AM
Dear Diary...
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
MR500 was my first sprinting race. It was a hot saturday and my event started at 3.50. Initially i was not nerves about my race and my event was like the very last few event. So all my team mates get themselves ready for their race and everytime they looked scare and very nerve. I did not understand that feeling until it was my turn to race. Alfred and I prepared ourselves, did warm up and off we go into the water at seletar reservoir. Uopn reaching the starting line, we saw this double from NUS and they were like warming up their first few strokes, and i admit that they are really fast. But I told Alfred they were only trying to scare us. After we got into line and marking of our attendents, the judge shout ' paddles up, ready in 10 seconds' , this time my heart was already pumping as even i'm going to have a heart attack. And off goes the horn and started the to race. Beginning of our first 10 stroke, the NUS double had already lead us with 1 boat lenght and they were really fast. We kept rowing and rowing and in my mind all i could think of is row harder, don't slow down because i don't want to disappoint my team mates especially Alfred. However we only came in 3rd and we did not qualify for the finally wheras the NUS double, their timing was like 20 second faster than us. Can you imagine how fast that was. Anyway, in the end our team didn't enters the finals and to most of us, it was our virgin race. haha. Most importantly, we realise what our team is lacking and we are trying to polish it.
Xiao zhu, things will work out well for you and your boyfriend. He may want to concentrate on his polo and so on, just let him be, i'm sure one day he will regret for taking you for granted just like I did. = )
I just broke off with Wan Yun 2 days back, and i don't know what i really want. To me, i did not treat her the way a boyfriend should and she has been giving in to me. I guess she deserve someone much better than me and someone who knows how to treat her well. All i ask for is to see her smile and stay happy.
silly you;9:22 AM
