Dear Diary...
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Exams are nearing and there's 2 great holidays during our study break. it's really a test of self discipline and determination towards my studies. i think i have let alot of my family members down. they have such high hope on me. but everytime i received my results, they are like only average.. New year's eve is coming so as my Blaw and RFA paper. am i prepared?? like always last minute work. Concentration wise, Zero i can say. But i'm a person whom will study if i really need to.
Why whenever comes to exams periods i'll think or miss xiao zhu so much. And today, miracle happens. When i thought my ring was gone at Kallang, it appears in front of my eyes when i least expected. My mom called me at 11 plus to wake me up and i was tossing and turning while answearing the call, and there it was right in front of me. I've been thinking about the ring since that day it was gone. i said to myself it's time and it was gone for a reason and GOD wanted me to know that. He has plans for me. But i kept thinking about it. sometimes in my prayers i ask him can i get her back or even pray for her returns. Late;y because of the ring i pray and today it was with me. What does this mean??? All i know is that xiao zhu is very contented with her own life now, she even got a very nice boyfriend at her side. but today i jus kept thinknig of her and i even thought of calling her. How stupid and silly i was. but luckily i didn't, because i always put myself in the boyfriends shoe. If my grilfriend's ex called i was also be unhappy. maybe to me it is ok but not to many other guys out there. they might think otherwise. I hate to spoil people relationship and being a third party. That was the reason why i always hold myself back to call or msg her, or even ask her back.
Thinking about NEW YEAR 2006, tests starting a few more days later, i felt tremendously stress. Because i'm lazy and i spend or i can say wasting my time thinking of her. Xiao zhu hope u will do well for your tests. As for your competition, all the best and i know you are good at it. Your guy will guide you along your way.
Oh, just now i was suppose to meet bernard at the gym for some training and last minute something came and i felt really bad to inform bernard last minute. No time to slack i guess.
New Year resolution, do well in my studies, love my family more, love GOD more, love all my friends, change myself for the better and train hard. I do not expect to be in love but if i do that would be bouns for me and i hope i could accept someone into my world and not comparing them with xiao zhu..
silly you;11:49 PM
