Dear Diary...
Friday, March 10, 2006
Alright... Dazhu is back from all the hair pulling, stress and exam papers. I'm also back from all my chalets, friend's birthday and most importantly my very own class chalet..
Let's start with the 'HELL' week. i seriously drop alot of hairs while studying for all my papers, and each day pass so fast. I went to my aunty house and stay cause her house there is very quiet and a very nice environment to study. I miss my canoing AMG and i missed out all the fun. The day of AGM i really wanted to go and i told my granny about it. Then the words she said just hit me hard to think seriously about my future. She said it's just a boat, if you don go this time, there's always next year. But when come to studies, if you don't do well now, you are going to spend few thousand dollars again to retake a module. it's not only time wasting, it's also wasting of my parents and aunty's hard earn money. Currently it's my mom and aunty who support me financially in my studies. Everytime during dinner my aunty would ask me to study hard and she will help me more when i enter a university. And to be honest, no one in the family had ever encourage me of staying in canoing because it takes up so much time. All of them were worried for me and they sometimes even asked me not to go training and stay at home either study or accompany them. It was an additional burden of thoughts while i'm studying.
Then it comes friday and was my very last paper, that paper MA. it was such a disappointing paper for me cause i really don't know how to do most of the questions. it was so demoralise that i didn't even smile or cheer up after the paper, while some of my classmates were happily saying this time LGL showed mercy on us. Well i have to pray hard now for my results. i don't ask for more, just all pass i would be very happy already. Then finally i went home, i missed home so much, i stayed in my aunty's house for about 12 days. it means 12 days without looking at my beloved mother's face. i missed her so much during that period.
However, i only went home for a while cause it was one of my brother's birthday chalet and everyone was there waiting for me, and i can't tell them i don't want to go. it's been months since the last gathering with them. We usually meet once a week because we meet up for basketball every wednesday. Now because of canoing, i only get to see them for about once a month or once every 2 months. it's bad, it's just so bad. because i realise now they go out they don't even call and asked me cause they know i will say i'm busy with this and that. But still i went to the chalet and it was great, they really cheered me up, a bunch of best friend crapping and laughing like the good old days. However, because of the stress and sleepless night during my exam week i felt unwell towards the last of the chalet. this also meant that i didn't turn up for my canoing training. After I woke up i went home straight and make myself rest early casue the next dya was my class chalet.
Class Chalet was great and sad because the next sem i would be seeing my all classmates again. Some of them already are having their attachment and most of us choose different module so we will be separated. = ( 1st nite of the chalet, we played this really fun game taught by jeremy. haha. Guess what, the Nat and Cheryl got drunk. haha. Because who ever makes a mistakes or draws a unlucky card have to drink. haha. Was fun and cool, seeing Nat shouting for alex's name and i had to lie to her saying alex is on his way here. hahaha. Cheryl the best, she went to hug wei jin saying it's all his fault. haha. so funny la. then we played majoh the day in the chalet la. haha. But was fun too. Then came the last day, suddenly felt sad cause deny going back indo, yang fang going to China for her oversea attachment, Chen ling and Daryl haveing their attachment now, Cheryl's attachment starts next week, Chai Fong also going to China for her IBSM module, and the rest of us will be separated by the different modules.
When i got home, i called Chin Chong if he is interested to take over me for MR500. because i think it's kind of difficult to win something when i'm not going training and it's only a few days away, and maybe concentrate on the next competitions. This is so that i can get more fit and prepare to race. However Alfred called and i told him about it and he said somethings to change my mind, i would give up. But i jus need time to get back the strenght, i think Alfred and Jeremy was mad with my performance yesterday and i myself know that's why i didn't say anything. Well i have to train extra hard from now then.
Lastly i was really happy that my mom's result turns out to be positive. So glad that the doctor said the spots are cause due to stress and my mom needs to drink alot of water in oder to clear her system. My mom was relief too cause she was so scared the night before. Haha.. All praise the lord for his great work. I guess this must be a long post. So i shall stop here... = )
silly you;9:58 AM
